Note: This is in no way an instructional video. Sarcasm aside, you should definitely never approach a mugger in this way.

Enjoy:

Comedian of the family, Jean Machado provides comedy through YouTube videos. Photo: YouTube

The Machado family has been a force alongside the Gracie family as five brothers have worked towards spreading the art throughout the states. The youngest of the five, John Machado, teaches in the South Bay area of California where his sons help teach classes.

One of those sons, brown belt Jean Machado films comedy videos to post on YouTube geared toward Jiu-Jitsu enthusiasts. In this video below, he demonstrates some sample (and cheesy) pick-up lines that can provide you a laugh. We don’t recommend using these at any point in time ever, but we hope you can chuckle at a few of these like we did:

One time Steven Seagal decided he wanted to wear a beard. Chuck Norris wouldn’t authorize it and ordered him to wear a ponytail instead.

Check out the myth Chuck Norris proving why he’s so much more lethal and savvy, in a Jiu-Jitsu exhibition with Carlos Machado.

Um dia Steven Seagal quis usar barba. Chuck Norris não autorizou, e mandou ele usar um rabo de cavalo mesmo.

Confira o mito Chuck Norris provando por que é muito mais letal e sagaz, numa apresentação de Jiu-Jitsu brasileiro com Carlos Machado.

Focusing on in-depth study of the 50/50 guard, the session gathered the likes of red-and-black belt Rickson Gracie, Jean Jacques Machado, Thomas Magno, and a guest with an open mind and steel-cast body: a Bruce Lee student now studying under the Machado brothers.

Dan Inosanto, with his undying thirst for learning and training, watched on as Rickson delved into guard studies, learning a trick or two from the master.

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Among those at the festivities was our thick-skinned photographer John Lamonica. “It was a great day, lots of old stories remembered. A bunch of it went over my head; I regret not having learned Portuguese yet,” says Lamonica. “When Rickson demonstrated one of his techniques to Sensei Danny Inosanto, it was truly magical. Through Inosanto, it seemed like Rickson and Bruce Lee connected spiritually.”

At the end of the training session Rickson fastened a red-and-black belt around his cousin Jean-Jacques Machado’s waist.

Recheado de estudos sobre a guarda 50/50, o treino reuniu o faixa-coral Rickson Gracie, Jean Jacques Machado, o agora vice-campeão mundial Kron, Renato Magno, John Machado, Jean Machado e Thomas Magno, e um convidado de mente aberta e corpo fechado, aluno de Bruce Lee e agora dos irmãos Machado.

Dan Inosanto, com sua eterna sede de aprender e treinar, acompanhou os estudos de guarda de Rickson, e aprendeu um ou dois macetes com o mestre.

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Entre os convidados da festa, estava nosso John Lamonica, fotógrafo cascudo. “Foi um clima ótimo, com muitas histórias sendo relembradas. Eu perdi várias, lamento não ter aprendido português ainda”, diz Lamonica. “Na hora em que Rickson demonstrou uma técnica sua para o sensei Danny Inosanto, foi algo mágico. Através de Inosanto, parecia que Rickson e Bruce Lee se conectavam espiritualmente”.

No fim do treino, Rickson amarrou uma faixa rubro-negra na cintura do primo Jean-Jacques Machado, apesar deste ainda não ter 31 anos como faixa-preta, como rege a regra da IBJJF para os faixas-corais.